


i've got so much love, i've got so much to give

by meananimagus



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Fluff, Jeon Wonwoo isn't a coward, Lee Jihoon is dense, M/M, Multi, Pining, Polyamory, Seokmin is conflicted, at first, they figure it out together, unrequited feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:07:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25144411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meananimagus/pseuds/meananimagus
Summary: there's no rollercoaster ride or a little too overrated love story.there's just them.and a ridiculous mess of feelings and coping mechanisms, but they've got it all under control.
Relationships: Jeon Wonwoo/Lee Jihoon | Woozi, Jeon Wonwoo/Lee Seokmin | DK, Lee Jihoon | Woozi/Lee Seokmin | DK
Comments: 2
Kudos: 24





	i've got so much love, i've got so much to give

'it's been a year now'

well, seokmin knows. he is fucking aware how long his harboring feelings towards jihoon have been going on now. he doesn't need mingyu's constant reminders, minghao's pitiful gazes, soonyoung's comforting back pats and seungkwan's encouraging smiles to remember that he likes jihoon and has been feeling that way for a year already.

jihoon. jihoon. lee jihoon.

lee fucking jihoon.

how is seokmin even supposed to forget for a moment when his brain won't allow the boy to wander off somewhere else. he's everything seokmin thinks about, he's everything seokmin dreams about. and it's rather becoming more and more hopeless because as his crush towards the older drags longer, jihoon remains oblivious.

they're not close, at least not as close as seokmin and soonyoung, the inseparable duo, or wonwoo and jihoon, childhood bestfriends. but they all are a part of the same friend group. seokmin and jihoon talks, seokmin talks with everyone, they sometimes hug each other too, trying to be as comfortable towards each other as possible because they can't just not, they belong in the same circle, they have mutual friends that kind of forces them to interact with each other whether they like it or not, but jihoon has never been as tactile towards seokmin as he is with wonwoo and the others. seokmin felt like jihoon has drawn some line between himself and seokmin and the younger is more than afraid to even try and cross it. he knows his boundaries.

it hurts him, obviously, like a hell lot. his self-esteem level dropping lower everytime jihoon barely spares him a glance and a small smile whenever they meet, but gives enthusiastic hugs and excited yelling towards the others. his insecurities starts eating him up whenever jihoon won't sit beside him even though it's the only empty space available, instead plops himself onto seungcheol's lap or whoever else's but seokmin. never seokmin. he's clingy to everyone except seokmin, he's chatty when talking to everyone but won't initiate a conversation with seokmin.

it's all too much.

sometimes seokmin wonders if he did something that caused jihoon to not like him, or maybe he does but just not as much as he likes their other friends. but seokmin is so unconfident that he prefers thinking that jihoon hates him. the thought giving him a little bit more of a safeground to stay at, to not get too hopeful so he wouldn't ruin himself when it turned out jihoon really does hate him.

what seokmin doesn't understand most is that why can't he unlike jihoon, despite all the rejections and apparent coldness the older gives him, he still can't seem to stop liking him. to the point that he cries over it every night, until the tireness and pain just exhaust him enough to fall asleep.

he's cried a lot. more than he's supposed to, more than he ever did in his entire life, more than what their friends know, more than how much his eyes are even capable of letting out. it's heavy, his chest feels massive and unbearable and shit, he hates it a lot. he hates the pain. he hates that no matter how much, desperately, he tries to get rid of his goddamned feelings, it grows just more. making him suffer longer.

he thinks jihoon knows. he probably has an idea about seokmin's feelings towards him. and that's what hurts the most. that he shows no shit about it, like he doesn't care.

it's been a year yet nothing has changed.

some small things probably did, like how wonwoo and seokmin grew closer. seokmin never expected it to happen, but that one night wonwoo approached him, a friendship started.

seokmin remembered it was when he stayed in the library, deciding to get his homeworks done there instead of taking them home to his dorm because he knows soonyoung would prefer staying up with him until he finishes instead of sleeping. seokmin appreciates the kind act but soonyoung needs rest.

that day, seokmin was silently skimming over a book when the chair beside his own moved, someone occupying it, that someone soon after spoke to him.

"hey, do you mind if i sit with you?" wonwoo asked softly, a soft smile playing against his lips. seokmin hasn't noticed until then but they actually looked plump and kissable. he noticed the smile slowly twitching into a smirk so he stopped his thoughts, a blush creeping into his cheeks, highlighting his eyesmile. he just nodded, finding it hard to verbally respond.

to his gratefulness, wonwoo doesn't mention it. they studied in silence. it's not uncomfortable, to seokmin's amusement, because it's the first they ever spent time together alone, without the others, without jihoon. seokmin enjoyed it, he can admit to that, at least.

after that day, fate seemed to start setting up the two, both passing each other in hallways more often than usual, both staying in classes or the library to catch up on lessons at the same time that they just decide on studying together, they even accidentally meet outside the school, at the ice cream shop that seokmin frequents to or at the nearest grocery store when both are being assigned to do the shopping chore in their dorms.

they grew closer. soonyoung noticed, everyone noticed, jihoon noticed.

seokmin isn't sure about his feelings now. he thinks he still likes jihoon, but his heart almost reacts the same way towards wonwoo too. the point of difference, seokmin hasn't figured out yet, or will he ever?

he notices too. the suggestive words wonwoo speaks of when they converse, wonwoo's unwavering soft gaze, his fleeting touches. the way wonwoo becomes flirty to no one else but him. wonwoo likes seokmin. seokmin isn't that dense to realize that.

soonyoung seemed to notice it too, as well as the others. wonwoo isn't really trying to be subtle about it. seokmin thinks he might like the older just as much. but until he's completely sure, he's not touching the issue yet.

but before seokmin almost made a decision to give it a chance, give wonwoo a chance, jihoon started getting in the way, with a different strategy, and there goes seokmin's feelings reeling back at full speed.

jihoon began spamming him with texts, or rather, memes, soft memes, the ones with hearts and sprinkles and all that shit and seokmin is conflicted. confused and frustrated. jihoon also started calling his phone often, every night, with no fail, even attempting a video call whenever they're both not too busy with schoolworks to be able to hold a decent conversation while looking at each other. it always causes tingles in seokmin's heart.

wonwoo and jihoon, they turned seokmin's life into a full-blown chaos, his feelings getting pretty messed up, too much to handle.

both also started to accompany him everywhere he goes, invites him almost everyday to hang out either at their dorm or at his own, movie playing in the background, jihoon always leaning too close until his head is resting above seokmin's shoulder, a hand snaking around his waist, wonwoo's head perched against his lap, one hand gripping seokmin's across his chest. this relationship turning into something more vague and unconventional.

seokmin ends up wondering what's going on, what's the thing the three of them have, what he is to the older boys, but he's just too scared to vocalize his thoughts. wonwoo showers him with too much affection as much as jihoon does. he thinks they both like him, if he's sane enough to weave things together.

jihoon and wonwoo also gives as much affection towards each other and seokmin feels like, it's what they have. it's some unexplainable thing but it works for them.

jeonghan once asked him if they're in a polyamory relationship, seokmin choked on his soggy fries.

"seok, stop categorizing poly as a term that revolves only around the weird sexual shit. poly can be innocent and pure too, like what you, wonwoo and jihoon have."

jeonghan's words struck him, it caused him one sleepless night and a mind filled with thoughts during their weekend movie night at wonwoo and jihoon's dorm. and of course, his evident unfocused attention didn't go unnoticed by the two.

"what are you thinking about, love?" wonwoo squeezed an arm around his waist. seokmin smiled at the endearment as jihoon scooted closer until the smaller was pillowing over his chest, seokmin's fingers playing at his hair.

"jeonghan hyung told me about polyamory." he informed the two, casually, womwoo raised an eyebrow and jihoon hummed so seokmin continued,

"what are we?" he asked, his hand gripping jihoon's hand tighter as wonwoo pressed closer to the two of them.

"i love you, baby, that's what i know." jihoon replied, voice laced with gentle sincerity.

"i love you too, i do for more than a year now." wonwoo spoke next and seokmin felt an enormous warmth bubbling inside his chest, enveloping his heart.

"i also love jihoon but i think i love you more." jihoon smacked the oldest in the head to which wonwoo chuckled at, teasingly poking a tongue out towards the former. seokmin couldn't help but grin.

"i love you more than i love wonwoo, bub, he's old." jihoon retorted and wonwoo just reach a hand to pinch his arm, muttering underneath his breath about he's only a few months older than jihoon. seokmin let out a low laugh.

wonwoo looked up at seokmin with his chin resting above the youngest shoulders, jihoon pressing even closer to his torso.

"do we get an 'i love you' back?" he teasingly asked that seokmin rolled his eyes at.

"i think i love you both equally." wonwoo slightly pulled away to show him his pouting lips.

"you should love me more, i give the best cuddles." he sulked, jihoon huffed.

"the fuck are you even saying? seokmin loves my hugs."

"ji, no offense, but seokmin likes being the little spoon." wonwoo gave the smaller a blatant once over, emphasizing his last two words.

"i'm sorry my height isn't as abnormal as yours."

"apology accepted."

before the two makes a bigger argument about who deserves more love from seokmin, he decided to shut them both up by pecking a kiss into each of their lips, catching the both off guard. he laughed at the shocked expression of the two and the slowly reddening skin of their faces.

after a couple of seconds, he got two blushing mess burying their faces against his neck and a tangle of limbs and legs trapping him in the middle.

what they have might not be the most normal thing in the world, and some people might turn heads at them, faces morphed into disgust or judgements but the trio won't care. seokmin knows to himself that despite it being an unusual non-platonic relationship, he's more than willing to make it work, he trusts they can make it last.

it was a rough journey, patches and curves were exhausting struggles but the reward seokmin earned at the end makes all the pain and suffering worthy. he loves what he has now.


End file.
